A Bittersweet Christmas

"Merry Christmas, Marilla! Merry Christmas, Matthew! Isn't it a lovely Christmas? I'm so glad it's white. Any other kind of Christmas doesn't seem real, does it? I don't like green Christmases. They're not green-- they're just nasty faded browns and grays. What makes people call them green?

-Anne of Green Gables

     I hope today was joyful and full of laughter and love. True to Anne, green Christmases really are not very pretty. Which is what we had this year☹️

     This Christmas season has been bittersweet for me (No, not just cause we didn't have snow). Our culture tells us that it is always the “most wonderful time of the year.” Yet, it often presents its challenges amidst the glitz and glamour of the season. As I have been preparing for Studying Abroad, I’ve had the somber realization that this will be the last Christmas in which I really can be considered a “kid”. To be clear, I am an adult (despite my height indicating otherwise). However, I have never really left home before, at least not for this long, and like many people have told me- It’ll never be the same again once I come home.

     I hate change, and I do not handle change well. My personality (not to mention my adoption struggles) does not lend itself to altering the tried and trues. Thus, as my parents can attest to- the realization that nothing will ever be the same again, brought about a rigid goal for being traditional (at least on my part). Nevertheless, I was reminded throughout this Christmas season that Christmas is not about Traditions, Christmas Spirit, or even Family. While these are all good things, it does not fulfill me. The only thing that can bring peace and satisfy my soul is Jesus.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.' John 1:14

    Last night my family and I went to our church for our Christmas Eve service. Christmas Eve services always seem extra special to me, whether it's because of a spiritual feeling or signing Silent Night by candle light (and maybe "accidentally" burning my fingers). However, what really stuck out to me last night was a verse (that I have heard/read many times) in Luke in which Mary asks, "How can it be?" To which the Angel of the Lord replied "Nothing is impossible with God." The key word- With. That sent me for a bit of a loop.  This may have been a bittersweet Christmas for me (and maybe some others as well), despite that- I am finally okay. Because, I know that while life is changing, nothing is impossible with God. My Christmas might not have been “Greeting Card” perfect, and it often wasn't/isn't. Nonetheless, the reminder that Jesus brings my peace and fulfillment in a season when expectations are high, and people are imperfect, satisfies my soul.



     With all that said, I want to wish a very Merry Christmas to my friends, family, and followers.

Cheers to a New Year!