Yes and Amen

January 15, 2020

Yes and Amen

“Here and there it sprouts out into modernity, but at the heart it is still unspoiled; it is full of curious relics, and haloed by the romance of many legends of the past. “

-Anne of the Island

“There is magic in Oxford, and it has a way of bringing you back." Athena from Bodleian Admissions Department

I got my "Bod" Card as they say on Monday. Meaning I now have access to the Bodleian library, which is regarded as the best library in the UK possibly the world (sorry Library of Congress). The induction ceremony in which I received said Bod card was one I won’t ever forget. It is hard to describe, however when I asked my 3 roommates how they would describe it in one word, I received apt responses: magical (Kaitlyn), beautiful (Brielle), and surreal (Avrie). As for me- I would describe it as spiritual.

(A pretty window in the Bod)

Spiritual because the tradition and legend spoke to my soul. Athena who inducted us painted the picture of how over 500 years ago scholars just like us sat in the same wooden seats and also took the oath and in perhaps in another 500 years future scholars will say repeat the same pledge. That gives me shivers just thinking about it.

Today, I also got inducted into New College (my college). This experience was less formal, however it was nice all the same, as we got to explore the grounds (for my fellow nerds, yes, I saw the tree where Draco Malfoy got turned into a ferret), got shown where the college bar is (the most important thing according to Josh our guide and JCR president), and got access to New College’s library.

(My New College I.D card)

As far as classes go, tomorrow is my last day of orientation and then my roommates and I have our first worldview lesson on Friday. I have had some trouble as well- For various reasons, I still do not have a primary tutor, meaning while my roommates all have essays and reading to do, I am sitting at the flat feeling like I’m slacking off, and that I’m not actually a student here. This is irrational I know, and as my flatmates and friends have said- I should enjoy this time without work, while I can. Nevertheless my peace came by way of my mom;

“This tutorial problem is all part of God’s plan. Let him do it and just go along for the ride with great expectations!”

-Mom

Impostor syndrome has been rampant for me. Sitting amongst other scholars and wondering how on earth I was accepted, when clearly these other students are much smarter and much more qualified than I am. Yet, I keep having reminders that this is God’s plan that I’m following, not mine. I just have to say Yes and Amen and go along for the ride.